Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize