i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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