so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
