I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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