I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got inside last night via doggy door
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
