And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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