Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
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