plz talk dirty to me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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