He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize