I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
