the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just found puke in my bra..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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