I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
