You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
