i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
