No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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