who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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