Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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