I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
