i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize