:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
