She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize