I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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