Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
