Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
