There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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