The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize