I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
