Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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