Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
is that a dick in a sweater?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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