yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
