i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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