put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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