You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
