This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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