If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize