I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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