I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
After tacos, we're chasing women.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
