Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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