almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
