they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Drake has all the answers
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
