I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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