would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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