White coat. Heels.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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