worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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