My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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