I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dick very happy bro
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