Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
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i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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