The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
