how can u be prego again
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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