we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
