i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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