I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Let's get the cat blown out
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
