sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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