all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
