I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
